The Problem with Rapunzel Being Attractive
by comealongpond
Summary: Eugene gets aroused throughout his journey taking Rapunzel to see the lanterns.


There was no other way to say it: He was alone with a very attractive girl, and he was tied up. Now, that wasn't the _first _thing that came to his mind (he wasn't _that_ much of a sex maniac, well usually), but it didn't take him long to start thinking of the situation in that way. He could hardly move at all. She had tied him up in her own _hair_, for crying out girl – Blondie, Rapunzel, whatever the hell her name was – could literally do just about anything to him. And to be honest, he wouldn't really have any problems with it if she did.

She was, to say the least…pretty good-looking. He probably shouldn't have noticed it as quickly as he did, but she really was. Of all the people who could have lived up in this mysterious tower, he ended up with someone who looked like her. Not too bad, really. Except that he had no idea what was going on and his ear felt all wet from that stupid frog thing that just licked him.

Well, flirting usually worked. So that's what he had tried first. He wasn't bragging or anything, but it worked on most women. But she was different. He tried to smolder her and everything and it didn't work. Strange.

Part of him was expecting – or maybe hoping – for her to do _something. _Especially when she moved in closer to him. They were very much alone, after all. But he shouldn't be thinking like that. There were more important matters at hand then worrying about…that. Like his satchel, for instance. And how if he didn't come up with a plan he would be stuck with this girl until at least tomorrow night.

A part of Eugene was a bit upset when she was untying him and they still hadn't done anything. Maybe he was looking too far into this, but the way he saw it, she had to be pretty kinky in order to tie him up. That fact alone made him more inclined to accept her little 'deal.' Still, there was something undeniably strange about her. Living in a tower and having seventy feet of hair…that just wasn't normal.

* * *

><p>It was soon confirmed to Eugene that Rapunzel was not, at all, a normal girl. As far as she could tell, she had never left that tower ever. Not that he could really tell what was going on. She kept muttering things to herself. Things about being a horrible daughter or something. After a while he gave up and stopped paying attention.<p>

It was pretty amusing, though, the way she was so fascinated by things as stupid as trees and grass. It kind of made him not quite as upset to be there when he saw how happy she was. He watched her for a while, but then he stopped. She kept running around all the over the place, and her dress would sort of fly up with the wind and…

Point was, he didn't want to get too distracted. He probably wouldn't get anywhere with Rapunzel anyway, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to, so there was no point in fantasizing about her body like that. Though it was a little hard not to. There was a few times when she would climb a tree or something, be right above him, and then how could he _not _look? He didn't really mean to, but she didn't hadn't noticed anything, so it didn't really matter.

Mostly, he tried to keep something of a distance from here. He didn't want to get dragged into her bipolar behavior. The least attached to her he could get, the better. Especially because he was still trying to think of ways to get out of this deal. It would save him some time, not to mention it would be sort of depressing to hang around with someone as hot as Rapunzel and not get anywhere with her.

So he tried to get her to go back, and what did she do? Threaten him with that goddamn frying pan again. So she was pretty aggressive. That could make bedroom activities interesting.

And the next thing he knew, there was a noise, and Rapunzel practically jumped onto his back. "Is it ruffians, thugs? Have they come for me?"

He honestly couldn't believe this was happening. Her legs were literally wrapped around him. As in, her female parts were like right next to him. _Stay calm, Flynn. You can handle this. _But just within those few seconds he was already imagining all the things they could do in positions similar to this. It was impossible not to.

He was pretty good at maintaining a straight face during times like this, which was a very useful skill. A bunny emerged from the bushes and wanted to roll his eyes. "Stay calm," he advised, "it can probably smell fear." Wow. Had she really freaked out over that?

Rapunzel quickly got off of him. Thank God, too. If she had stayed on any longer he was pretty sure he would have gotten a boner. He adjusted his clothes slightly and looked over at her.

"Sorry," she said, "guess I'm just a little jumpy." And then she gave him the most adorable smile ever. God. He shouldn't think of her like that. She was sexy, not…_adorable._ She was really screwing him up and he had only known her a few hours. He blamed the fact that he hadn't had sex in a few months.

"Probably be best if we avoid ruffians and thugs, though." And with a sudden idea he led her off to the Snuggly Duckling. He walked a bit in front of her. He still couldn't completely get his mind off what she had just done.

* * *

><p>They had just climbed out of the river, and Eugene could <em>not stop <em>staring at her. It was addicting, really. She looked…wow. It was mainly the fact that she was completely soaking wet. Her skin was glistening, beads of water forming all over it. He watched as the water from her hair and clothes ran down her skin. Her perfectly smooth and amazing skin. God he wanted to touch her. Her dress was sticking to her everywhere, showing off all of her glorious curves.

"What do you mean it doesn't _just _glow?" he asked as he followed her into the forest. Wasn't it weird enough that it glowed? How much more special could it get? But as curious as he was about her hair, he was more interested in thinking about how slippery their bodies would be pressed up against each other without any clothes.

"I'll show you in a bit. Let's find a place to stop first," she said. Eugene smirked. She was going to show him something. He could probably show her a thing or two.

"Aright," he said, still staring at her.

"I am so wet," Rapunzel said a minute or so later, squeezing out her hair as they kept walking.

Did she _really _just say that? Eugene couldn't help it. He laughed a little. _I bet you are, _he thought for a second, grinning to himself.

"What?" Rapunzel asked, looking back at him. _Oh no. She heard me laugh._

He chuckled before coughing, trying to clear his throat. "You said that…never mind…" She really didn't know why that was wrong, did she? This girl was oblivious to everything. But now he was wondering if she really _was _wet or not.

And he had promised himself he would try not to get any more erections today. Well, it was her fault. But if she really was this innocent when it came to sex, maybe she wouldn't realize the reason for his "problems" anyway.

"Can we start a fire or something when we find a place to stop?" Rapunzel asked. "I need to dry off."

"Of course we can," Eugene said. They would dry a lot fast without their clothes on. He was just saying.

* * *

><p>"You can't tell anyone about this, okay? It could ruin my whole reputation." He was leaned in rather close to her and he didn't even realize he was doing it. All day, this was probably the most openly they had talked. It was nice. <em>She <em>was nice.

"Ah. We wouldn't want that." Rapunzel smiled at him a little, almost rolling her eyes. He liked her so much more now than he did when he first met her. She was still weird, but she was actually really… He didn't know how to describe it. But he was actually getting along with her. As much as he hated to admit it, the attraction might not have been _all _physical.

"Well a fake reputation is all a man has."

Rapunzel laughed and looked up at him. Their eyes met. Her eyes were beautiful. He smiled back at her. Whoa. She was really pretty. Like _really _pretty. He had noticed her looks before, but why hadn't he realized how goddamn beautiful she was?

He suddenly felt his pants get tighter and looked away from her quickly, looking down at his lap. Shit. Shit shit shit. Why did he let his happen? He had to get out of her before she noticed. But what…? "Well, I should, um…I, I should, I should get some more firewood," he said, making up a lie on the spot. The fire could still survive for a while.

He stood up and started walking back into the forest. What was he supposed to do about this? He couldn't just come back with that thing still there. That could be a disaster. He was thinking about his options when Rapunzel spoke up.

"Hey. For the record…I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider."

Eugene couldn't help but be touched by this. She actually liked who he was? Who he _actually _was? Maybe he should have never become that jerk Flynn Rider at all. "Well," he said, looking his hand. "Then you'd be the first. But thank you." He actually meant it too.

He started walking again, thinking back to his problem. _Well_, he thought as he held his left hand out in front of him, marveling at how perfect it looked. He _did _just have his hand healed.

Several minutes later, Eugene was pulling his pants back up and wiping his hand against some bush. Wow. That was…fast. Maybe she did a really good job of healing his hand. Or maybe the thought of Rapunzel just got him really turned on. That was more likely.

He realized he couldn't be gone too long, so he started collecting firewood for real. It didn't take very long. He was still in some kind of post-orgasmic state when he stumbled back to where Rapunzel was and wasn't really thinking about what he was saying. "So. Hey, uh, can I ask you something? Is there any chance that I'm going to get super strength in my hand? Because I'm not gonna lie, that would be stupendous."

Just imagine. If his hand was magical, he could do that even faster. It would be extremely useful. He could jack off as much as he wanted and his arm would never get tired.

He noticed Rapunzel was turned away from him and stopped to look at her. "Hey. You alright?"

She turned, tucking some hair behind her ear. "Oh, sorry, yes. Just, um…lost in thought, I guess."

Sounded reasonable enough. He was lost in thought too, but he bet Rapunzel's thoughts were much less perverted than his. He sat down and started putting wood on the fire. "I mean because here's the thing. Super human good looks, I've always had 'em. Born with it. But super human strength. Can you imagine the possibilities of this?" There were so many possibilities. Really.

Rapunzel sat down across from him. He wasn't paying much attention to her. He just kept rambling about the possibilities (staying clear of the inappropriate ones) until he finished tending the fire and looked up at her. "Are you tired?"

"A little bit," Rapunzel said.

"Feel free to go to sleep whenever you want. It's been a long day for both of us."

"You're right. I should probably get to sleep," Rapunzel said, standing up and going to sit beside the tree. "Where are you going to sleep?"

Eugene shrugged. "I'll find somewhere." He would have liked to sleep next to her. But he wasn't sure if she would go for that and besides he was never going to suggest it. They could definitely have shared body heat, though. It would be good for both of them.

For now, he guessed he'd just have to imagine that.

* * *

><p>He was pretty sure he dreamt about her that night. It was hard to say because he never remembered his dreams very well, but when they were <em>good <em>dreams he could usually at least remember them happening. Plus the hard-on he had was kind of a giveaway.

He closed her eyes again, trying to get back to sleep and go back to that fantastic dream. What was happening in it anyway? They were probably fucking or something. Oh right. He should _definitely _get back to that.

He felt something land on his face and looked up to see a very angry horse above him. Fucking Maximus. Who invited him? "Well I hope you're here to apologize," he said, trying to go back to sleep. It didn't work. Max grabbed him by his boot and immediately started dragging him.

Eugene protested as much he could, shouting out. Rapunzel still looked fast asleep. She looked cute, all wrapped up in her hair like that. Maybe she had the same dream he did. Probably not. He saw her wake up suddenly and hurry over to him.

He was too annoyed to even check her out or anything. This horse was probably going to _kill _him if she didn't help. He wasn't even thinking about the fact that she totally put her hands on his wrists as she pulled him.

Max finally let go of him, and Eugene landed against the base of a tree. It kind of hurt. He rolled his eyes, glaring at the horse. Rapunzel was being nice to that thing. He sighed and looked down. Well maybe one good thing came out of this. His erection had disappeared almost immediately after Max arrived. Maybe that horse could be useful.

But it probably wasn't worth it.

* * *

><p>Eugene thought Rapunzel was pretty right when they first met, but he thinking it so much more often now. Watching those girls braid her hair for about half an hour was kind of boring, but it was well worth it. She looked…well, even more amazing than usual.<p>

He just stared at her, smiling a bit. Was he actually falling in love? This couldn't be good. Then again…he'd never done it before. Maybe love was okay.

She looked fantastic, just twirling around like that. God. He _really _needed to work on keeping his thoughts clean. But hey…she was eighteen today. He could do anything he wanted to her and he wouldn't get in trouble at all. Given that she went along with it. But he was Flynn Rider, so of course she would.

Eugene noticed Max raising his eyebrows at him suggestively and pushed the horse away. He really didn't need anyone bugging him about his unnatural attraction to her.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel was fascinated by bookstores. She kept picking books off the shelf and laying them out on the floor. She made Eugene get the ones she couldn't reach. She was <em>tiny<em>. That was probably a good thing though.

Anyway, they must have stayed in that bookstore for a good two hours or so. There were books across the entire floor; all the ones that Rapunzel thought looked interesting. She would crawl over to them and point things out to Eugene. Most of it was interesting. The things that weren't he pretended were interesting.

They were sitting next to each other, looking at the same book, and soon enough Eugene couldn't even concentrate on what she was talking about. He had been hanging out with Rapunzel all day, and well, that sort of did things to his body. And it was pretty bad. Like it was almost painful to sit down. He was squatting kind of awkwardly and hoped that she didn't notice.

She was _so _close to him. She needed to stop getting so close. It wasn't helping his problem at all. Neither did the way their hands kept brushing when they would point to something. _That _made it horrible.

After a while, she must have realized he was zoning out and poked him in the side. He was totally not expecting her to touch him there. He quickly moved her hand away and sighed, forcing himself to leave the daydreams aside and start listening to her again. He would just have to face that he was never going to stop being aroused around her. Ever.

* * *

><p>Rapunzel was a good dancer. Eugene was not. He only did it because she forced him to. But actually…it wasn't so bad. He just wished he could dance with <em>her <em>instead of all these strangers. He kept trying to get close to her, but someone got in the way every time.

It was amazing the way she got everyone so involved with this. It was like she radiated energy. She did actually. He kept looking over at her and she looked so happy. She looked good when she danced.

Finally, the band finished their song and Rapunzel ended up in Eugene's arms. Wow. She was completely pressed up against him. Like they were touching more than they'd ever touched before. And it was incredible. And the way she was _looking_ at him. Wow.

One of the villagers yelled that it was time to go to the boats, and only then did Eugene come back to his senses. And realized just how aroused he was.

Rapunzel looked down quickly and blushed, moving away from him. Eugene quickly got away too, looking down a little. Oh yeah. This was bad.

He was embarrassed beyond belief as he started leading Rapunzel down to the shore, walking with his hands crossed over his chest. He needed better pants or something. Ones where his erections weren't so _obvious._

She felt it. He was positive she felt it. Why else would she look down like that? Did she even know what it was? Probably not. He hoped to God she wouldn't ask him why something in his pants was poking her because _that _would be the most awkward thing ever.

Thankfully, she didn't mention it. Eugene tried very hard to pretend like it didn't happen.

* * *

><p>He was feeling better as the evening went on. Their boat ride was nice. He knew Rapunzel was enjoying it and that was all that really mattered. He liked making her happy. Maybe she would return the favor. No, nevermind, that was gross.<p>

He watched her as she started touching the water, making little ripples. He was pretty content. She thanked him again for taking her out here and he just said it was no big deal. After a few more minutes, the lanterns came up. Rapunzel practically jumped up to go look at them. It was adorable.

At first he was deliberating over what was more beautiful: the lights or Rapunzel. Definitely Rapunzel. He could decide that in a heartbeat.

Maybe it was selfish to say, but the lanterns did have an unexpected advantage. With Rapunzel so busy looking at them, she was sure not to notice the bulge in his pants. After a couple minutes, though, Eugene hardly cared if she noticed it or not. In fact, he probably wouldn't have minded if she did. He wasn't really embarrassed when they touched anymore.

They were holding hands now and Eugene had a stronger desire than ever to kiss her. He should do it. God. He would probably just stay here forever with her if he could. They could do whatever they wanted together.

He brushed some of her hair away from her face and leaned in to kiss her. He had done this about a million times before. But it felt so much different with her. He was almost there when he noticed something. Was that…? God fucking dammit.

He paused, and Rapunzel noticed. "Is…everything okay?"

Eugene was still distracted. How did they _find _him? "Huh? Oh. Yes, uh…" He automatically grabbed her hand. "Yes, of course. I just…" Hmm. What on earth was he supposed to do in a situation like this? Well, Rapunzel was a hell of a lot more important than a crown. He knew that.

He started paddling the boat back the shore. This sucked so much. He and Rapunzel might have _done _things if it hadn't been for this little interruption. On the bright side, his boner was going away due to the fact that the Stabbington brothers were about the least sexy thing he could think of.

It was okay, though. He would just return the crown and then he could get back to Rapunzel. This would work out fine. Right?


End file.
